somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
