Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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