In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
