Is it because I queefed?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
