My balls are so social today.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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