Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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