When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
