Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
