I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
