I don't think brook has ever known best
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
