so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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