Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She bit a glass in half.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
