You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
