I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
