Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
