i can't believe i had my finger in that
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
