You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
