I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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