Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
