Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
