Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
