so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
