I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
