I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize