Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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