she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
