But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
