Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
