Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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