I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
