i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You made out with two different species that night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
