I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My liver just had a heart attack.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
