I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
