I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
