Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
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