You're completely useless in the revolution.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
