nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
