I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize