I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
