so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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