Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
