I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
