She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize