it hurts more in the daytime
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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