It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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