also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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