Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
