did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize