She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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