what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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