your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize