i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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