I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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