doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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