We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
