D3 body, D1 cock
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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