who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
