How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
