Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize