OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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