Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
