Apparently you make a good broom.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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