let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
