Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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