You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
