You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
