and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I won't apologize to a one balled man
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
