Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
