Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
