We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
