i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
What a dumb baby whore.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
