I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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