Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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