my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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