Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
