So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
