I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
