and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize