I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
